Random musings of a restless mind that has better things to do, but chooses to muse randomly instead
I sit at my desk, staring at the hour glass, watching as the creamy grains of sand gently, with servile subjugation and feminine grace, pour through the tiny opening, into the other side. They take with them a part of my life, a part of me. A part, that was yours, that you failed to notice.
My gaze shifts, I catch sight of the solitary moth tracing a mesmerised path towards a brutal light, that will entice it, love it and hurt it, all to preserve its own glory. I can almost hear the candle chuckle with carnal anticipation. I can almost see your face in the auriferous glow.
The wind rattles the window panes, and the noise echoes throughout the hollow corridors, like my sobs did when you left me.
The day dawns, ushering in a new start.
Workings of a sharp mind stifle the sobs of a broken heart.
I pretend that I am strong,
That nothing is askew, nothing is wrong.
It is the nights that I find unbearable. The unending nights that remind of the foolish dreams I wove on the loom of my heart. I spend these nights looking at the hourglass and then, resigned to my fate, I go to bed. My empty bed. 
There’s a crowd, but there is no companion, no one.
There are so many lovers, but love there is none.
There is a soul, but it is alone.
There is a heart, but it has turned to stone.
The rain drums softly on the rafters overhead. Little children gleefully press their faces to the windows: yes! School’s out today! Young belles dance on the rooftops, giggling, romping and creating flutter in young male hearts. I look at them and my demons catch hold of me again. This is what I was before I met you.
The sweet comfort of sleep eludes me
Your face haunts my dreams relentlessly
You are my quest, my forbidden destiny
You, I want, for all eternity.
So out of my reach….Like everything else I ever wanted. So vital, like everything I ever needed. So fleeting…Like every memory I’ve ever cherished. Mine, but never close to me.
A Life Divine
I. Incarnation
As angels sweep the nocturnal sky,
Singing praises to God on high,
As shepherds kneel in silent reverence:
In a lowly manger lies mankind’s deliverance;
Come to conquer sins on earth,
The son of God takes humble birth.
II. Joy 
After forty days and forty nights,
The devil he defeats in a spiritual fight.
To preach God’s word he moves ahead-
Healing the sick, raising the dead,
Working miracles for the blind to behold,
For the deaf to hear and by the dumb to be told!
III.Trial
Betrayed to the enemy, abandoned by his own,
He suffers in silence- forgiving, yet alone.
Reviled, mocked, beaten and in pain,
The Lamb of God-for our sins- is slain.
“It is finished” ends his earthly sojourn
At the foot of the cross, his faithfuls mourn.
IV. Life
Three days hence, the world witnesses a miracle-
The coming true of many an oracle.
He conquered-once, and “for all”- Hell, infernal,
He left, with promises of life eternal.
He fills my cup with joy to the brim,
He died for me, so I live for him!
Winter Descendeth
Winter sweeps its foggy cape, embellished with jewels of sleet and dew,
Over the dark streets and alleys, and heralds the advent of another year new.
As I contemplate the end of this year, I pray for all far and near,
That may our days be bright with smiles, alight with laughter and warm with love;
May our hearts be filled with peace and life with blessings from God above…
Lost
I have lost my heart and can’t find it again.
It did not fly to another’s care, was not by Cupid slain.
It did not shatter to the sidewalk, its tears hidden by the rain.
It just shriveled up and died, when I failed to soothe its pain.
I heeded not its honest counsel; I heard its words no more,
The brain became my friend now, the brain I began to adore.
The brain helped them all come true- my dreams and wishes galore.
It sanctified all unhallowed things the heart would halt before.
And then one day I reached the zenith, one day my victory shone.
But that day I found no peace, my brain was still forlorn.
I sat and searched for joy, and joy there was but none.
Because my heart didn’t beat no more, because my heart had gone.
Passing Fancies
Do not read deep into these dark nights, my lover,
These nights set aflame by passionate whispers,
Where our dreams come true,
Just me, just you.
Heaven in your eyes, nectar in your lips,
Magic emanates from your fingertips.
As we snuggle in our sinful embrace
Your feelings show in your divine face.
This will never last, part we must-
We are here only to satiate our lust.
The world can never accept us as one,
But intimate follies can never be undone.
And if our world ends tonight,
If tomorrow takes my away from your sight,
Remember that I will love you forever,
I hide my emotions behind physical fervour.
Life must go on, no matter where we are.
Till then, let us enjoy the time that is ours,
Today is a mirage, fantasy’s bold flight,
Therefore my love, do not read deep into these nights.
If the world ends tonight
Should the lantern of life cease to burn
Should Fate take that irreversible turn
Should you wake up alone one morn
Don’t be sad, don’t be forlorn.
Should there be no tomorrow,
Allow my love to dispel your sorrow
I want you to know how much you mean to me
For I do not know how long together we will be
If the world ends tonight, my love
If separated we are by the gods above,
Forgive me the pain, the hurt and the tears
And move on with your life, my dear.
Fate it was that brought us together,
And fate alone this bond can sever.
Curse not what shall come to pass,
Don’t ever forget me, your bonny lass.
Hold me tight, be mine tonight,
For I may not be here to see the morrow’s light.
The Lizard Chronicles
After what seems like several light years, I- the prodigal- step back into the blogosphere and this time my return has been inspired by extreme psychological pain heaped upon me by my seasonal four-legged, scaly, tail-shedding, beady-eyed, stealthy, slithery…..et cetera, roommates. Please excuse the mutant compound statement; writing is an effective way to vent one’s emotions, which are currently a bit dysenteric, for lack of a civilized word. 
Well, let me start at the beginning. I have an irrational disgust for (NOT fear of) house lizards. Agreed, they have never harmed me or mine, but even thinking about them makes me break out in goose bumps and cold sweat…..in short, gives me a panic attack. Even my worst nightmares do not involve flunking the exams or a failed experiment, but invariably star a 6-inch monster- the lizard, that is. So, I am careful to keep my room clean, keep doors, windows, cupboards, drawers locked tight and in general, perform every ritual in the Gospel according to Paranoid Lizard-phobics. But I have had my share of bad moments. The highlight being when an exceptionally large and ugly one planted itself inside my laundry bag and I stared at for one whole hour, willing it to climb out of the bag and my life. Yes, that’s confession number 2 – if I feel that a lizard has truly violated/ is on the verge of violating my territory, I stare at catatonically for hours, directing certain thoughts towards it- like don’t drop onto the table, turn left, not right, and so on and so forth. Yes, I know. Those of you have who have actually read this far are either appalled by my craziness or are shaking their heads in pity. The hostel cleaning crew and my dear labrats are well aware of my traumatizing relationships with lizards.
With this background, I proceed to narrate the events that took place on April 27th, 2011. A few days before this ill-fated date, A big fat you-know-what crept inside my bathroom, however, I didn’t bother me much as it seemed to be the peace-loving sort- spent the night in one corner and left with the first rays of the morning sun. As the afore mentioned day dawned, I sauntered into the loo and stopped smacked in the middle of it, my head trying to do a fair impression of Linda Blair’s head-rotating act from The Exorcist. There were four lizards in all four corners of the bathroom. First, I stared at the old inmate and this damning thought popped into my brain- “You betrayed me by bringing others into our home.” Yes, I actually thought that, no, its not poetic (or bloggerectic) license. And yes, I know, I probably need therapy.
Anyway, I took a look at the next scaly-bane-of-my-existence hovering over the cistern. All normal biological urges fled. Even a rookie like me knows better than not to turn the back on an enemy. The third one lodged under the wash basin obliterated all thoughts of teeth-brushing. And that’s when I looked at the fourth one.
It was smaller than its counterparts (which is absolutely irrelevant as even a newborn lizard sends me into paroxysms) and perched upside down on the doorframe between the bed- and bathrooms. And its hold was shaky, rapidly loosening. Once it fell, it could rush straight at me, or it could enter my room, where there was an infinite number of hiding places. I concentrated my telepathic powers on directing it towards the loo, definitely the lesser evil. It didn’t work exactly, it just managed to shifted to the cemented partition where it had a better hold. In one hop, I landed straight from current vantage point onto the bed (It’s a small room, so no need to admire my athletic prowess). And then, I slipped into my catatonic-cum-telepathic state.
To cut a very long story short, one by one the demon spawns disappeared. I finished up all the morning’s interrupted work in record time and by then, was somewhat back to my sane self. Then I scoured the internet for potential solutions to my problem. The most sensible one which I found was to spray the room with bug repellant. Once insects are exterminated, the lizards won’t get free lunch no more and stop patronizing Ye Ol’ Arpi’s Loo. Simple, and much more practical than telepathy.
So I got dressed for lab. Then I placed moth balls around the wash basin, over the cistern, in the corners and on the sill of the only window. My little chemical bouncers, please do your job. Then, I came back into the bedroom, holstered my laptop (yes, that’s the term I use. Don’t bother to mark it as an affront to the English speaking world), took the lock and key in my left hand, switched of the fan, switched on the mosquito repellant, closed the back door, unlatched the front door and picked up the can of bugspray. Holding my breath, I liberally sprayed the loo with the insecticide, darted inside, closed the door and repeated the maneuver with my bedroom, tossed the can on the shelf, locked the door and took another deep breath. I don’t have anything personal against insects, but every war has its casualities.
Over to evening. I came back, saw to my immense satisfaction that my bathroom was all mine. My relief was transient, as, when I picked up my bucket, I saw one of the Evil Ones, propped on its hind legs, staring at me. I dropped the bucket and leaped inside the bedroom. It took me 15 minutes to gather the courage to peep inside the bathroom, trying to make out if the bucket still housed an unwanted guest. It took me half an hour to gather the courage to tap the bucket with my broom. Immediately, “It” leaped out, poised at the edge of the commode. Telepathy time. I prompted it to slip inside so that I could flush it, also asking God for help. Yes, I know. Natural disasters are wrecking lives, incurable diseases are on the rampage, psychopaths are devouring the society, but yours truly was praying for deliverance from a palm-sized animal.
The lizard, of course, was deaf to my appeals. It slithered over to just below the window. Again, I silently cheered it on, but alas! The ultra-lethargic organism repeatedly fell off before it could reached the window sill and, lacking perseverance, changed directions. I watched in horror as it positioned itself in close proximity to the commode…..
…….and did not move for the next 4 hours, 12 minutes. Once again, I am not joking. I kept track. By this time I was in a very bad state. I was panicking- what if it did not move even in the morning? How would I manage? I would have to go to the lab to…you know…..brush and bathe and do other stuff. The rational half of me was appalled at my behavior, but the phobic was in dire straits.
In frustration, I snapped the light switch on and off, and noticed that this thing freaked the lizard and forced it to move. Using this technique along with stamping my foot, I nudged it closer to the commode. Then, in a rare burst of courage, I picked my broom and hurled the “Thing” over the edge and immediately flushed it. Of course, I did not sleep the whole night and kept on checking the bathroom for sign of any reptilian activity.
This morning, there were no new occupants other than the old fat one, who, I suspect had become bolder, as it did not run out the window in the morning. I am almost scared to wonder where I will find it when I get back. My room has suddenly become very unwelcoming.
But the bigger concern is my own reaction to these organisms. It is abnormal, and I have to do something to change it. Hopefully, I will shift to the US next year, where house lizards will not be a problem. Till then, the battle continues. And oh, dear readers, please do me a favour and give me some advise how to get rid of house lizards.
